| > | | | | long wooden benches, painfully copying out |
| Ever wondered how to give the publisher exactly | | | | manuscripts by the light of a fluttering candle. |
| what they want? Forget it. Even if they knew, by | | | | Sorry, 'they' haven't moved on much. 'We' have. |
| the time they made up their mind, they'd have | | | | We, the Internet Authors. We can get our books |
| already moved on. Yes, check out Mike | | | | uploaded to an on-line publisher like Lulu in a |
| Scantlebury and see what he has to say on the | | | | matter of hours, design the cover and have it |
| subject of writing, publishing and finding out how | | | | available within days. Our customers - whether |
| to give the readers what they want - a much | | | | friends, relatives, admirers or unknowns - will be |
| better idea. | | | | able to tap in their credit card details and have |
| Okay, so you're an aspiring author or a wannabe | | | | the book arrive in the post by the end of the |
| writer and you're staring at the blank white page, | | | | week. If you're planning a Christmas story - now, |
| wondering what to put on it. What would be the | | | | early December - there's still time! Amazing, isn't |
| best thing to write about? What are publishers | | | | it? |
| looking for? Hmm, tough question. I know, check | | | | But will anyone buy it? That question, the one |
| out a few websites. Look at the home sites of | | | | that haunts Traditional Publishers at all their tedious |
| well-known Traditional Publishers and see what | | | | meetings, coffee clashes and focus groups, is |
| they're putting out at the moment. That's easy. | | | | irrelevant to the Internet Author. People don't like |
| Here's a few romantic novels, some spy stories, | | | | it? They won't buy it. That's not a problem. |
| and a quirky new translation from the Spanish. | | | | There's no inventory cluttering the shelves and |
| Your head's whirling, but you sleep on it and soon | | | | filling the warehouses. Every book that comes |
| come up with an idea. You commit to paper, print | | | | from Lulu is printed 'on demand'. No demand? No |
| out your creation and pop it in the post. | | | | printing. It's as simple as that. You don't have to |
| Astonishingly, several months later, it comes back. | | | | worry your pretty little heads about what you |
| Unwanted. Worse, there's a little note stuffed | | | | think people might like, or what your sampling and |
| inside the envelope. It reads, 'This is not what we | | | | opinion polls are telling you could be the 'next big |
| need at present'. | | | | thing'. Ignore that. Write the book you were born |
| You've made an elementary mistake. You've | | | | to write, put it out there and see what happens. |
| fallen for the trap of believing that whatever | | | | If people don't buy it, then you can accept their |
| publishers are publishing right now is what they | | | | verdict. Maybe they didn't like it. (Of course, there |
| want. No, it's not what they want - now. It's what | | | | could be a simpler explanation - maybe they just |
| they wanted last year, when they were putting | | | | never heard of it. If so, try a bit more publicity |
| their schedules together. The thing is that | | | | and promotion before you give up completely.) |
| Traditional Publishers have such a long lead time | | | | So what do publishers 'need'? They tell you that |
| that the things they are talking about today are | | | | they want to publish books that people will want |
| not going to hit the bookshops until some time | | | | to read - and so want to buy. The problem is |
| late next year. So, if you come up with a | | | | that those people, the readers, often don't know |
| sparkling story about Christmas, don't leave it until | | | | what they want until it's offered to them. I mean, |
| next summer before you submit it. That doesn't | | | | who knew that stories about a teenage wizard |
| give them enough time. Better to send it in at the | | | | boy would be entertaining? And those rings? |
| start of December. That gives your publisher a | | | | Chasing all across New Zealand after elves and |
| year to come to a decision, put your book on | | | | morlocks? Who needs it? The truth is that the art |
| their list and get it designed and printed. Besides, | | | | of publishing is to try and guess the future, but |
| it's winter. They'll be in the Christmas mood. You | | | | the science of it is to try and not lose money. |
| see, publishing is not like any other industry. In the | | | | That means gambling with your budget, going for |
| world of pop music right now - early December - | | | | sure-fire wins when you think you have them, |
| they're talking about issuing the 'Christmas single'. | | | | and taking a risk when there's enough in the bank |
| It hasn't even been recorded yet! But they can. | | | | to cover any subsequent loss. It's not exact and |
| They have the ability to get the artist into the | | | | it's not guaranteed, which means that most of |
| studio, sing the song, press the CDs and pack | | | | what Traditional Publishers actually say to |
| them into cardboard boxes for the shops. In a | | | | would-be authors is nonsense. They try and |
| matter of days they'll be hammering down the | | | | pretend that they know what they're doing, but if |
| roads in the backs of trucks, hurrying to the | | | | it has any validity it will be based on what |
| buyers in time for putting in their Xmas stocking. | | | | happened previously, and that's not bound to |
| No problem. Books? No, we haven't moved on | | | | happen again, no matter how convinced they |
| much from the days when monks used to sit on | | | | seem. |